dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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