operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
