the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
