Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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