Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
