wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
