I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
