So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
