I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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