no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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