It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
