On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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