Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
