? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
