He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
