hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
