Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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