My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
