NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
