On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
