So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Four minutes until I can fart!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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