Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
