Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
