According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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