I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
