What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
