Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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