I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
