Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
