I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
