return my video game
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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