I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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