**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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