Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
