walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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