I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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