I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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