Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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