so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
