I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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