Bisexual people are plain selfish.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
