you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize