dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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