there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
