Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
