There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
