He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
