I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Randomize
