I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
