I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
