My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
