if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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