Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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