Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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