Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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