Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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