i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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