I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
