I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
