There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
