windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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