Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
