You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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