theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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