Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
COCAINE IS GR8
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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