just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
