Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
don't judge my taste in strippers
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize