just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
