Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
