Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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